He who would be a great soul in the future must be a great soul now.
~~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Some might say I’m obsessed with evolution. I constantly assess who I am today and how that will impact the future, not only for me but for those I serve. I’m committed to helping others look toward re-envisioning their lives so they can grow into a new version of themselves—shedding the undesirable layers of the human condition to lead a much more satisfying and soulful life. This often requires taking a glance at their past to inform us about how they came to be themselves in present time, but also to understand what it will take to undo the parts of them that were imposed upon by others, assumed to be something they weren’t or fractured by the will of those who hurt or diminished them in some way. Most important is my mission is to help people understand that they have the power to evolve beyond their challenges—that they have the agency to recognize and step into the soul they were really meant to be.
Lately, I’ve spent a significant amount of time cleaning out old files, shelves, closets, etc. One Saturday a few weeks ago, I went through a file cabinet at my office, not remembering what I had stored within the drawers. I came across a file titled “Quotes”, which is probably one of at least four I can think of that are stored in various places depending on the topic and location (especially since COVID because my home office has become my primary place of work). I quickly glanced through the pages in the file and landed on a page that appeared to be a screenshot from a computer. The quote read:
“Letting go is never easy. There is no short-cut or trick to it. You must be committed enough to your future to let go of your past. It’s not easy and it’s likely to hurt, but it is for the best.”
The quote was credited to Dr. Steve Maraboli, whom I had to ask “Dr. Google” to identify. I’m not great at remembering names but the screen said he was an ex-military behavioral science professional who was also an author and speaker. Honestly, I don’t remember hearing about him, but obviously liked this quote enough to save it.
On the sheet of paper that contained his quote, the sentence “You must be committed enough to your future to let go of your past.” was italicized. It caught my eye as I read it and sat in quiet for several moments allowing the words to sink in. Like many, I’ve been doing a great deal of soul-searching, along with a lot of cleaning out of anything that no longer fits or serves me. It seems both ironic and appropriate that I came across that quote as I cleaned out old files—and perhaps also represented a sign from the Universe that I was on the right track. Whatever the impact, those words have stuck with me and I’ve shared them with several other people ever since.
These are just some of the questions I’ve asked myself since I came across the quote.
In talking to a client about this phrase, we both thought of a snake shedding their skin. The reality about a serpent though, is that it likely doesn’t think much about what it has to shed, it just knows it has outgrown something that no longer fits. It pauses long enough to wiggle out of the dried up layers of who it once was and continues on its path without hesitation.
Years ago I came across a research study that measured the amount of time we tend to spend thinking about the past, present and future. Interestingly, it is estimated that most people spend 10% or less of their time thinking about the present. I agree when I think about how many people are either immobilized by the wounds of their past or in the fear of moving forward, not really staying in the moment long enough to know they are just fine. The scientists noted that 60% of our time is spent thinking about the past and approximately 30% is focused on the future—both categories based mostly on worrisome thoughts.
How will we ever evolve if we stay anchored to the past? How will we reach our highest potential if the weight of what we have experienced is never allowed to dissolve or heal? How will our souls reach the point of shining brightly if we remain buried beneath what has already come and gone?
The question, “Am I committed enough to my future to let go of _______(whatever the item was)?” has both accelerated and facilitated my release of items that have inhabited my house for years.
The day after I came across this quote, I found myself cleaning out my garage. After nineteen years of living in my house, it was easy to accumulate many things I thought I might need later. That day, I shed a great deal of “extra” to get down to only what I knew I would use in the future. Since then, I’ve donated many items to a nearby retreat center, to Habitat for Humanity, to the local Mental Health Association, Goodwill and other organizations, along with shared items with friends who could use outdoor equipment, gardening supplies, clay for pottery, stained glass for mosaics, etc. None of these items would have helped my future—they would have only created obstacles from moving forward. Only the newfound space (literal and metaphorical) will enhance me evolution.
I do my best to practice what I preach. In this case, I’ve also spent more time pondering what I need to leave behind or let go of in order to grow into a new version of myself as a healing professional and educator. My journal is filling up with exploration around this transformation and progression of my own evolution. As I tell others, evolution never happens as fast as we’d like it to and it never happens in a straight line. But that is how we become more observant of our path—to take note of our discomfort either during times of growth or when we feel we should be changing faster than we do, as well as noticing our tendency to meander through the chapters of our lives rather than taking the most direct route.
I invite you to consider this question more thoroughly: Are you committed enough to your future to let go of the past?
In my book, Soul Health: Aligning with Spirit for Radiant Living, I take you through the process of understanding each of the ten branches of the human condition that all of us experience and try to balance throughout our lives (physical, psychological, social, interpersonal, intellectual/occupational, environmental, financial, sexual, spiritual and recreational). In the pages, I urge readers to explore what needs to be “cleaned out” from each branch (trimmed, pruned, etc.) to make space for new growth, noting that we can’t grow if there’s not enough room to “fill up” those aspects of our lives with other things. I’m always amazed when my own words kick me in the pants to do my own work, but I always appreciate having the roadmap to get there.
Another tool I created is what I call The Three Questions of Discernment, a system of inquiry to help a person determine whether they are being intentional and discerning enough with what they choose to do or allow into their lives. The questions are:
- Is it Meaningful? (Does this activity, person, responsibility, etc. bring meaning to my life in a way that is nourishing and fulfilling?)
- Is it Necessary? (Is this activity, person, responsibility, etc. necessary for me to feel nourished or fulfilled in my life?)
- Does it Feed My Soul? (Does this activity, person, responsibility, etc. bring more to my life than it takes? Do I feel nourished and fulfilled by these things? Would I miss having these things in my life if they were no longer there?)
Now, more than ever, it is essential to tighten up our lives—release whatever is getting in the way of our future. It is important to look at the people, things, ideas, beliefs and behaviors that have driven our lives to determine what if any of them will support us in the future.
Perhaps it is time to use the Soul Health Model™ to reassess your own life to enhance your evolution. Or maybe the Three Questions of Discernment© will guide you to assess what nourishes you and what no longer fits. Regardless, the time is now to decide who you will be in the future.
As Pope John Paul said, “The future starts today, not tomorrow.” What do you need to release to ensure your soul’s evolution?
Katherine T. Kelly Ph.D., M.S.P.H.
With 35+ years of direct clinical experience, Dr. Kelly doesn’t just believe in helping others to heal; instead, her mission is to help them to evolve. Using her own integrative and trademarked framework—the Soul Health Model—Dr. Kelly approaches her work with clients from a “whole person” or “whole organization” perspective. She provides a uniquely progressive, yet down-to-earth approach and is well-known in therapeutic, medical and corporate communities. She thrives as she helps clients and organizations to reach what she calls “conscious evolution” through a variety of self-designed strategies. Her dedication to healing has been widely recognized as she was the recipient of the Provider of the Year Award by the regional Mental Health Association and was nominated as an Incredible Woman for a local community television network, which spotlights role models to inspire young women to pursue their own passions.