I think a spiritual journey is not so much a journey of discovery. It's a journey of recovery.
~~Billy Corgan
From the very first day we are born—sometimes even before—our primary motivation is to heal. The word itself came from the Old English word haelan, which means to make whole or sound. But what is there to heal from the moment we touch the air?
From a human biological perspective, there is evidence that we absorb the emotions of the mothers who carry us, not to mention the elements present in our physiological in-utero environment that houses us during the nine months of gestation. If our mother sustains intense stress or trauma of any sort during that time, the energetic imprint of that experience is often stamped our soul, regardless of not being old enough to breathe on our own or consciously understand what we may have vicariously experienced. It is said that the first trauma a person experiences is childbirth, although no one has ever reported a memory of traveling through the birth canal. From the aspect of ancestral trauma, our soul may have incarnated to help heal the pain of those who came before us. In essence, then, in one way or another we pursue feeling whole again throughout the rest of our life. We strive to fit, overcome challenges, feel at peace, and simply feel acknowledged and recognized as the person and soul we truly are. We want to feel whole once more.
You may have heard me tell this story before, but it feels important to share again. Years ago at the end of a long day, my last client asked me what I thought all humans were here to do during their lifetime. Without hesitating, I responded, “To find their truth and keep it.” Essentially, this is the crux of nearly all challenges of the human condition. We just want to feel at peace with who we are, without anyone judging, criticizing, dishonoring or harming us in any way and we want to feel whole, not broken from the many challenges of we experience throughout life. We go to great lengths to be ourselves in whatever way that feels aligned with our inner self, but often the human condition ensures we must go through an eternal obstacle of life to get there.
From the moment we are born, something is taken away from us. The warm safety of the womb no longer exists. The trial and error of parenting often leaves us feeling we haven’t been fully taken care of either physically or emotionally. With each dismissal, act of diminishing or any other kind of wound, a part of us chips off, leaving us feeling a lack of wholeness or alignment. Throughout our lives we either work to reclaim that part of us that was lost or we compensate for what is missing in one way or another. Every painful or discomforting memory we hold represents a time when a fragment formed, leaving us feel anything but complete or whole.
These chips, dents and dings collect as we move along our path of life—big or small.
If we know enough and are provided the option, we can heal along the way. Nevertheless, the opportunity to become fragmented is endless. This is both the reality and plight of the human condition.
As someone who has worked in mental health for nearly thirty-eight years (having started when I was just eighteen years old), and as a soul healing specialist—not to mention nearly fifty-six years of experience within my own human condition, I’ve seen a lot of pain, wounding and overall sense of feeling broken. I’ve often been told by others that they don’t know how I do what I do. My mother and oldest sister tried on more than one occasion to talk me out of becoming a psychologist. However, from early in my teenage years, I knew this way my soul’s destiny. I knew I was here to help others feel whole once more. Many would say this awareness came from watching my father’s life shatter in an accident when I was nine years old. This most certainly contributed. However, somehow, my soul knew I was supposed to dive deeply into both the human condition and the innermost self of others to weave back together the fractured lives that are presented in front of me. I have no regrets and I would do it all over again if it provided the same opportunity to watch the many people evolve that I already have.
To become whole again means that we must reclaim the parts of ourselves lost to our circumstances. Each person is dealt a number of life lessons along their path—what I call their soul story. Our job is to decipher the meaning (understand what we are supposed to learn), remove the wound (by releasing the warehoused emotions related to these wounds) and work to repair our soul (the deepest level of healing). This is the basis of my model, The Three Levels of Healing. Inevitably, for full healing to occur, we must reclaim the part of us that was fractured or fragmented when the wound first occurred. With each painful experience or memory lies an adjacent piece or part of our self that needs to be reclaimed. Often, this is a key aspect of the many soul healing strategies I’ve developed and used with clients to assist in rebuilding their lives. Essentially, it is their soul I am helping to restore.
A few years ago, I came into contact with a physician colleague I’d known during my post-doctoral fellowship in Family and Community Medicine twenty five years prior. At the time, he was a vibrant and strikingly successful midlife professional. After I left the fellowship, he went on to do even greater things, having been recruited to create and head a similar department in another university medical school. It wasn’t until COVID that we reconnected when I requested an interview for a book I was writing at the time. Although I knew the pandemic likely affected his experience as a healthcare worker, I had no idea how decimated his life would be when we spoke.
Prior to the interview, I supplied a copy of my Soul Health Model™ along with some sample questions. He sent his reply prior to the interview and as we talked I was stunned by the depth of his wounds, both from his life prior to the national event and throughout. He spoke of severe childhood abuse (verbal, physical and sexual), relationship challenges (two unsuccessful marriages), along with the many stressors of trying to run a large department during the most disastrous health event in our lifetime. Luckily, he was proactive in seeking help but his brokenness ran deep. His saving grace throughout the years had been his ability to throw himself into work, although even this took its toll through his workaholic tendencies.
Over a year after we reconnected, he told me the Soul Health Model and our conversation saved his life. He said both came at a time when he was ready to embrace the idea of Soul Health, along with the many guiding principles I shared about how to rebuild. He told me, “I was ready to turn inward. Ready to recover. My willingness to exercise more, improve nutrition, reduce stress and substitute meaningful relationships with virtual connections all failed to carry me through the burden of being a dedicated physician leader. The pandemic left me on my knees like never before. My own advice, my own protocols and procedures, no doubt allowed me to fulfill my duties and those above the ordinary call of duty, but have failed to keep me healthy. Willing it to be so truly failed me for the first time in my life. I have been cracked open. Humbled. Brought to my knees. Openness to true alignment guided from an inner wisdom, or that tiny portion of the cosmic wisdom, the “I”, share and carry in this body—trusting my true self—I believe that is something like what you mean by soul and is the part that resonated with me. The [concept of Soul Health] has hooked me.”
During an email interchange several months later he said he couldn’t understand why he still struggled after doing so much therapy, reading and personal reflection.
I told him, “Your soul is fractured. Until that part of you is healed, you won’t feel complete.” He responded by saying he wasn’t entirely sure what I meant (about the “fracture”) but that it resonated with him deeply. The idea of soul healing was new to him despite the fact he’d been in the medical field for nearly fifty years. I haven’t spoken to him in quite some time, but I hope he has continued on his restorative journey. Everyone deserves to feel whole no matter what they have been experienced.
There are many ways we can become fractured. Our innocence might have been taken away from us while suffering sexual inappropriateness—whether physical or verbal—by others. Our confidence may have been stifled by a parent who was overly anxious themselves or by one who blamed their moods on us instead of working to resolve their own issues. Security could have been stripped if we grew up in an alcoholic and/or abusive home or a household that included a sick or disabled parent. Trauma of any sort—physical, emotional, verbal or sexual—inevitably fractures who we once were prior to an assault. No matter the wound we carry, it always accompanies a sense that we aren’t whole, complete or healthy in some way.
To heal is to identify, acknowledge and reclaim the part(s) of us that were fractured and lost along the path of our personal human condition. Each of us takes a different route, none looking or feeling the same. This is why the healing process can be so complex; no single healing protocol works for two different souls; we must experience individualized whole person care to return to radiant health. To me, this is what soul health really is—it about identifying the debris or rubble specific to an individual that needs to be removed so true healing can occur.
When I was in graduate school, the main theory of development taught at the time described a newborn as a clean slate—someone who was perfect and unblemished until something happened to negatively mark the individual’s development. While this is somewhat true in that individual’s don’t usually remember anything that happened prior to toddler years, often we carry the sense of being broken, fragmented or fractured regardless of our circumstances. When it comes to reincarnation and past lives, this stored trauma illustrates the importance of understanding we can carry wounds into subsequent lifetimes, some that directly impact our ability to cope or function without disruption. Also, with respect to ancestral trauma and heritage, it is not uncommon for some to carry the wounds of those who came before them.
While some traditional methods may reach to deeper levels, too few practitioners understand the need to heal the soul.
I believe this is why my soul healing journey started at such a young age—so I could teach others the importance of reclaiming and healing their innermost self.
What do you need to reclaim in order to feel whole again? What wounds are you being called to acknowledge and resolve? Which parts of you feel detached or distant from your innermost self?
To me, healing is a life-long process. From our first breath, the drive to sustain and live an authentic, whole life directs our behavior. Soul health depends on our willingness and ability to do our work to return to its most natural state—joy and contentment. No one experiences this balanced state unless they have worked to fully reclaim their soul.
While some traditional methods may reach to deeper levels, too few practitioners understand the need to heal the soul.
Katherine T. Kelly Ph.D., M.S.P.H.
With 35+ years of direct clinical experience, Dr. Kelly doesn’t just believe in helping others to heal; instead, her mission is to help them to evolve. Using her own integrative and trademarked framework—the Soul Health Model—Dr. Kelly approaches her work with clients from a “whole person” or “whole organization” perspective. She provides a uniquely progressive, yet down-to-earth approach and is well-known in therapeutic, medical and corporate communities. She thrives as she helps clients and organizations to reach what she calls “conscious evolution” through a variety of self-designed strategies. Her dedication to healing has been widely recognized as she was the recipient of the Provider of the Year Award by the regional Mental Health Association and was nominated as an Incredible Woman for a local community television network, which spotlights role models to inspire young women to pursue their own passions.