Progress is impossible without change; and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.
~~George Bernard Shaw
Change is not only inevitable, it is a necessary part of our soul’s evolution. Simply put, we can’t expect to grow if things remain the same.
While many resist shifting directions, altering plans or adjusting their intentions, it is only when we embrace this constant of life that we enter into a state of conscious evolution. We must knowingly take steps to grow and expand in order to create a more radiant life. This is the most basic and certain fact of a human’s existence. It is also the key to soulfully evolving beyond it.
Why, then, is change so hard? What makes us hesitate when we know we need to overcome or outgrow something to live our best life? How do we justify avoiding the discomfort of growth when we know it will take us to the next level?
Many years ago, right in the midst of a great deal of change of my own, I took a job as the Coordinator of Alcohol and Drug Education at Indiana State University where I started my Master’s degree in counseling psychology. As part of my work, I taught college students about various health and wellness topics in the Department of Student Health Promotion. To emphasize the importance of understanding behavior change in general, we introduced the “Stages of Change” Model developed by Prochaska and DiClemente in the early 1970’s. Although many models of change exist, it is important to recognize that a person’s readiness to change makes all the difference in whether they move forward.
The authors recognized that people go through many stages while changing something in their lives. They created an integrative model to conceptualize the process of intentional behavior change, which can be applied to all theoretical models, behaviors and settings. Their Transtheoretical Model consists of six stages: Pre-Contemplation, Contemplation, Preparation, Action, Maintenance and Relapse. When I was a professor, I taught this model to residents and medical, nursing and physician assistant students, as well as to clients enrolled in a comprehensive weight management program. For weight management patients, I would ask, “How ready are you to lose weight?” They would all enthusiastically respond with something like “very ready!” But when I asked them how ready they were to do what it took to lose the weight, most quickly backpedaled.
The harsh reality is that change is hard and it takes time. We can’t just go through the motions and assume we will get to where we’d like to be nor that it would happen as fast as we’d like. Assessing where you are in your own readiness to get to a brighter path and future will help you determine which are the most reasonable and realistic first steps.
However, change is not merely a human challenge, it is directly related to the soul and a person’s willingness and ability to consciously choose an elevated path.
As souls evolve, they must go through a process of realizing that something is amiss. They must become aware that their soul’s path is either misaligned or stagnant in order to take charge of making something better occur. In other words, changing something in our lives is not only an act of transcending the challenges of the human condition, it is the essential step in fostering our innermost self’s growth.
When considering change from the soul side of life, we have to recognize that we are not only simply changing a thought, behavior or action, we are resetting our soul’s path. Conscious change is not only about making our human life better, it is about many things related to the soul: overcoming long held karmic patterns, releasing soul wounds that sometimes include those of our ancestors, healing soul trauma from this lifetime or any prior, aligning our lives to live our soul’s purpose and more. For those who are consciously working toward their evolution, they know their choices will take them to a whole new level.
As I share Prochaska and DiClemente’s stages of change, consider both the human and soul sides of each step. While they don’t talk about the evolution of the soul, their model offers a path to understand and follow as a person approaches change in their life.
Pre-Contemplation— This stage is the early process of change when a person might not have even considered the need to do something differently. The person might be resistant or unwilling to take suggestions or steps to improve their situation. They may be willing to focus on other things they see as more important, even if these things add to their challenging situation. Remember, people don’t usually change unless they are tired of themselves or their current situation. Someone in the Pre-Contemplative stage is not usually even thinking about things being different. In the process of becoming more aware they must look for opportunities to learn, assess and admit that change could produce a better outcome than what they currently experience.
Looking at Pre-Contemplation from the soul side of change, one could say that the individual is unconscious or hasn’t experienced an awakening yet—they don’t realize change is necessary to get them to the next level or that action taken could even lead them to a more aligned or satisfying life. They lack a sense of agency in changing their circumstances, so they simply don’t do anything at all to make their lives better. They are either ignoring the signs from their soul or haven’t awakened to the radiance they deserve.
Contemplation— During this stage, a person has more awareness of the problem, but might remain ambivalent about taking steps toward change. They might rationalize or minimize the situation, with fluctuating levels of interest in altering their behavior. Either way, they are more aware that they are uncomfortable even if they aren’t ready to take action to improve their circumstances. A person’s main tasks in this stage are to explore reasons to change, including the pros and cons, as well as beginning the assessment process for what would be most easy to change.
From the perspective of soul evolution, someone in this stage begins to hear the stirrings of their innermost self—they are slowly awakening to their quiet voice within. They may experience gut reactions or receive internal messages that something is amiss. They may also feel less comfortable with the status quo. It is in this stage that the ego plays a part in trying to keep things the same—convincing the soul that the discomfort of change is “dangerous” and positive steps should be avoided to prevent further unease. Karmic ties tighten and try to prevent movement in a new direction. However, the inner ally is gaining strength and knows there is something more just beyond the distress—something more aligned than continuing to struggle in the human condition.
Preparation— In this phase, the individual is ready for change and sees the need to prepare to actually move forward. A person readily admits the need to do something different, accepting that if they don’t, worse consequences will likely arise. They start looking for alternatives and often reach out for help at this time. The main tasks to accomplish include educating oneself for options available, talking to professionals who can help, or starting to develop a realistic plan for moving forward.
The soul side of preparation always includes more conscious awareness and action toward the individual’s evolution. The soul starts stir enough to help the individual envision how things would be once change is underway and the person becomes increasingly restless to take things forward. This is the time when the inner ally acknowledges potential regret that might occur if the individual might choose not to evolve. This sense of regret motivates the soul to take steps necessary to change because they are already entering a new chapter along their soul’s path. The soul wants their story to evolve more than ever and their discomfort in not changing overrides the desire to stay the same. For many, there is no turning back once the soul is prepared to grow and evolve.
Spiritual awakenings often catalyze an individual’s need to prepare for something different or more. People are often “shaken away” by difficult circumstances or events to make them uncomfortable enough to desire change. Souls may not consciously ask for these situations to occur, but these events may be predetermined as part of that individual’s delivered opportunities for growth. The soul is still in charge of whether or not they decide to evolve.
Action— In this stage, an individual begins to engage in actions to turn their life “right-side up”. They start to create a plan, make changes and access professional help or resources to assist them in moving forward. Their primary task at this point is to explore and implement small, realistic changes or tasks that are likely to be successful and identify potential roadblocks and “hazards” that might impede progress. They may also find healthy rewards to reinforce commitment to their newfound change.
At this point, the soul is ready to go with no looking back (even though there might still be some hesitation). You cannot “un evolve”, so the innermost self takes the lead (and/or the Universe nudges them forward). While the anticipation of positive change is strong, the soul may undergo discomfort as they leave old karmic bonds, patterns, and contracts behind. This can bring grief and sadness, yet, the more conscious nature of the soul now embraces this discomfort as necessary growing pains along the path of evolution. While the human might be uncomfortable, the soul is celebrating their soon-to-arrive new way of being in the world. Essentially, it is the soul that leads the way through the action stage of change.
It is important to note that in order for action to occur, a soul must often do significant healing work to make room for growth. It is not unusual for an individual to release old relationships they have outgrown, careers or jobs that no longer serve them, or friends and family that no longer align during the action stage of change. However, the more conscious the soul, the more likely they will be to “clean house” to create space for their expansion and evolution. Re-writing their soul story—resetting their karmic path—then becomes a much more active and conscious process.
Maintenance— This stage marks the time when the individual has made changes and is looking for methods to sustain what they have altered. They focus less on refraining from old behaviors and turn their focus to more of a “recovery” lifestyle. Many behaviors have become habits and are much easier to consider as part of their lives. Their main tasks are to affirm oneself for positive changes while remaining realistic that old behaviors might persist. They should also make a plan for the possibility of getting off track and how to redirect focus back to positive change. It is important that people in the maintenance stage of change review warning signs for potential relapse or return to old ways of living.
From the soul side of the maintenance stage of change, soul wounds might flare or become reactivated in such a way that staying steady is difficult. If the individual chooses to continue on their evolutionary path, this is when the soul’s tapestry of life is rewoven by slowly removing the karmic threads of old patterns, beliefs, wounds and habits while replacing them with a new design. While a soul cannot “un evolve” once they have reached a certain point in their growth, it is possible to avoid their growth by simply ignoring the cues to move further beyond their previous ways of living.
Regardless of how exhilarating and empowering evolution can be, it also has the tendency to exhaust or fatigue the person who is choosing to grow. Evolution never happens as fast as we’d like it to and it never happens in a straight line. So, it is important to explore the changing identity of a soul’s identity as it evolves.
Relapse— The individual might have a slip or return to obstructive behavior as a human. During this stage, individuals may repeat behaviors they are trying to change, might engage in different but equally problematic behavior, or feel shame for having turned back to old ways. The main tasks for someone in the relapse stage include the willingness to explore how and why “slips” occurred while looking for methods to avoid them in the future. It is important to review your plan for change and adjust as needed to provide more successful and realistic outcomes. It is normal—and even part of the learning process—to return to previous behaviors after you’ve decided to change something in your life. If change were easy, life would be a breeze. Many clients have asked over the years if I get tired of digging them out of their old repeated patterns. Because I know the cycles of change are part of the process, I expect that people will falter on their healing path at times. It’s a given part of the process.
While souls can’t really go backwards, it can be difficult to overcome the most difficult of karmic lessons. It may appear as if a soul hasn’t evolved, but each layer removed assists the individual in liberating themselves from the many challenges of the human condition. It is in this stage that people must do the most soul searching to make sustainable change. Our ability to consciously examine what and how we need to transform assists in releasing the wounds and bindings that keep us in place.
I use the word “evolve” numerous times every day. It empowers others to take charge of their soul story to create a better way of living.
Several years ago I created the acronym E.V.O.L.V.E. to help people consciously evolve beyond the circumstances of their human condition. I did this in the fall of 2019, hoping to offer a conscious path to those who wanted to grow beyond their old circumstances. Little did I know that it would come in handy in writing my book, The Healer’s Path to Post-COVID Recovery. As I realized that healthcare providers have a procedure for everything but themselves, it made sense to use this to help them evaluate what needed to be restored, as well as how to take the steps to do it. Now, I use the acronym to instruct and remind people that they have the power within them to evolve as much as they want.
This tool can be applied to the examination of your branches of health to change and enhance the entire tree. Just as trees somehow know how to overcome adverse conditions, you can use this information to evolve beyond your own. Take some time to explore how this acronym can assist you on your own evolutionary path.
E—Examine—Explore the factors causing disruption or blocking your path.
Notice what needs to change in order to heal or evolve.
V—Vision—Imagine a bright and renewed future ahead.
See a new way to live, feel or experience life.
O—Observe—Notice and perceive what is significant in your need to grow.
Explore how you react or respond now and assess whether you want to
continue living this way.
L—Learn—Grasp the information and details that will help you grow.
Acquire the understanding of how and why things became the way they
were and what would need to happen to feel different.
V—Venture—Do something outside your norm to get somewhere new.
Step onto a new path and discover a new and improved “you”.
E—Elevate—Lift yourself to higher and more radiant (brighter) ground.
Only when we rise above our old self and ways do we create a vibrant
future.
Human change can be difficult, but when we realize it is part of our soul’s evolution, it can catalyze us to reach beyond the status quo which always leads to a more radiant life. Once we consciously decide to grow, we can’t get enough of the satisfying nature of our evolution.
Katherine T. Kelly Ph.D., M.S.P.H.
With 35+ years of direct clinical experience, Dr. Kelly doesn’t just believe in helping others to heal; instead, her mission is to help them to evolve. Using her own integrative and trademarked framework—the Soul Health Model—Dr. Kelly approaches her work with clients from a “whole person” or “whole organization” perspective. She provides a uniquely progressive, yet down-to-earth approach and is well-known in therapeutic, medical and corporate communities. She thrives as she helps clients and organizations to reach what she calls “conscious evolution” through a variety of self-designed strategies. Her dedication to healing has been widely recognized as she was the recipient of the Provider of the Year Award by the regional Mental Health Association and was nominated as an Incredible Woman for a local community television network, which spotlights role models to inspire young women to pursue their own passions.