I read a quote the other day that said, “You are here to understand yourself, not to be understood.” If everyone accepted this idea, I’d happily be out of a job both as a psychologist and soul-healing practitioner.
This seems like such a Utopian concept—to accept everyone as they are and just live our lives connected to other sentient beings with no judgment, comparison or need to please anyone. For the truth is that comparison is poison to our soul. The assessment of whether we measure up to others is the first act in diminishing ourselves and our inner self. When we place judgment on whether or not we fit in, will be accepted by others or are good enough in some way, we don’t need anyone else as enemies—we already have one living right inside our own skin.
Aristotle said, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” There is no wisdom in trying to know someone else fully because it will never happen. While the world doesn’t revolve around any single soul on this planet, our immediate sphere is all that matters when it comes to our conscious evolution. I spend a great deal of time each week helping others detach from societal norms, outdated or unhealthy familial patterns and various soul wounds that have accumulated along the path of an individual’s human condition, either in this lifetime or any from the past. The poison that exists in each human is palpable—so many carry the burden of comparison that I don’t think I’ll ever experience a work week that doesn’t include the removal of some foreign emotional substance that has poisoned a person’s sense of who they are.
Spiritual ipecac. That’s what we need. Humans need something that will quickly and effectively assist in purging all of the negative thoughts, judgments and comparisons that get in the way of our soul’s growth. This would require us to live from the inside out, not the outside in. We’d have to stop wondering how it will look to have a bad hair day or to have put on a few extra pounds. We wouldn’t worry about whether we had the right outfit to fit in or impress others, status wouldn’t matter and we wouldn’t worry about being seen in a discount store.
Comparison is fascinating when you think about it. In some ways, it does motivate us to be healthier individuals—eating and exercising to look a certain way. But the interesting thing is that we are more concerned with how we look on the outside than how we feel inside, how easily we move or how our medical lab tests come back during annual exams. It is such an interesting way to lead our lives.
I say over and over again that to know our soul is to know true health. As we heal from the wounds of the human condition and become more aligned in life, we care less about what others think. We don’t become more self-centered or arrogant, we become more soul-based which naturally eliminates the need to compare ourselves to others. At this point, we simply live according to our inner ally’s needs and desires.
We have a long way to go to eliminate the rampant poison of comparison. But hopefully just for today, you will purge a bit of the toxic substance.
Katherine T. Kelly Ph.D., M.S.P.H.
With 35+ years of direct clinical experience, Dr. Kelly doesn’t just believe in helping others to heal; instead, her mission is to help them to evolve. Using her own integrative and trademarked framework—the Soul Health Model—Dr. Kelly approaches her work with clients from a “whole person” or “whole organization” perspective. She provides a uniquely progressive, yet down-to-earth approach and is well-known in therapeutic, medical and corporate communities. She thrives as she helps clients and organizations to reach what she calls “conscious evolution” through a variety of self-designed strategies. Her dedication to healing has been widely recognized as she was the recipient of the Provider of the Year Award by the regional Mental Health Association and was nominated as an Incredible Woman for a local community television network, which spotlights role models to inspire young women to pursue their own passions.