For humans, the challenge is to unite soul and role, to discover the hidden wholeness that enables us to be in the world who we are in our souls, and to act in accordance with our deepest and truest natures.
~~ Andrew Hines
To be human is to be broken, flawed or fragmented.
We all have wounds and our ultimate task is to find and reclaim the parts of us that will once again make us feel whole. This is the journey to soul health, one that takes many lifetimes to accomplish.
Years ago a client asked me what I thought every person’s goal was in life. I quickly answered, “To find our truth and keep it”. While still a difficult subject to comprehend, the concept goes way beyond learning how to speak up to be heard and understood or even to identify our life purpose for those fortunate enough to come to this conclusion. Finding our truth and keeping it means re-collecting the many aspects of ourselves that we’ve lost along the way to make ourselves whole again. It is not a simple or easy process, but the practice of remembering and rebuilding of our essential nature—the re-integration of our soul—is the prized outcome of consciously navigating life. It is also the sole purpose of the human condition itself—remembering and reclaiming who we are at the core level.
Author, David Simon said, “Healing is the process of reestablishing the integration between body, mind and spirit, creating opportunities for the return of the memory of wholeness.” When we ache or grieve from a difficult experience, we long for the level of wholeness we felt prior to the wound or loss. Whether it be a condemning parent during our upbringing, the experience of daily stress or the tragedy of a catastrophic event that disrupts our comfort, it is the reintegration and sense of completeness that we want to return.
Our truth reflects our wholeness. It encapsulates every aspect of who we are. By exploring the good, the bad and the ugly of our existence to determine what has been lost or fractured, we can then reclaim what the human condition has taken away or even seemingly destroyed. Although many are taught that heaven and hell are destinations we seek to either find or avoid, these are actually only states of mind. In doing research to write another book several years ago (this one about the importance of understanding soul age), I decided to explore the original definitions of “heaven” and “hell”. Curiously, the entomology of each word simply meant “big sky” or “to keep hidden”.
Researching the history of these words greatly enhanced my understanding about the wounding and subsequent healing of a soul. In essence, when a soul is allowed to live freely and authentically while being nurtured without interference, they experience a “heavenly” existence—one that allows freedom to align their lives with who they truly are. However, to keep a soul “hidden” or buried under the wounds or expectations of the human condition, a person experiences hell—a misalignment or restriction on who that soul is meant to be. This often happens when we can’t live up to the expectations of elders, when we are verbally or emotionally abused by caregivers or when we carry either ancestral or past-life wounds. Therefore, healing ultimately becomes about reclaiming the aspects of our true self that have been taken away or lost so we can feel complete, whole and restored once more.
Of course, for those who are dedicated to conscious evolution, this can seem like an endless process. The more we heal and reclaim a part of ourselves, the more we realize there’s more to do. This illustrates the idea that humans are much like a never-ending onion—we hold infinite layers that just keep revealing themselves until we get to the core of who we are. I often jokingly say, “If we were done, we’d be dead”, meaning, there are always things to learn along the path of life. Peeling the layers of the onion in order to heal is part of the process of becoming whole again—it is the path to reaching “heaven” once more.
I’ve always been dedicated to my own healing and evolutionary process. A sibling gave me a hard time for always wanting to learn and evolve, instead of reading fiction novels, going to concerts or drinking myself silly when those around me were doing just that. None of that really appealed to me. Instead, it is in my nature to grow. This is not only for my own return to wholeness, but also to better know how to help others heal. While on my trip to Ireland last month, I had conversations with several of the other travelers about letting go and healing, including the trip leader. One participant also leads spiritual retreats and we compared notes. As I observed the leader in his efforts to facilitate the group’s process, I realized that both he and the fellow traveler often spoke of the need to let go of what is getting in the way of moving forward, but neither talked about helping others reclaim parts of oneself that have been left behind. To me, this is an essential part of our healing and evolutionary journey.
Although letting go of past wounds, grievances and fears can be a difficult and even life-long process, reclaiming what is rightfully yours—in terms of wholeness—can be an equal—if not even more difficult challenge. Why? Because once you release what is blocking you, you then have to believe you deserve to be whole. Further, you have to believe it is even possible to reclaim the fragments of who you are enough to feel complete.
Someone who heals from trauma—physical, emotional or sexual in nature—must re-integrate the part of themselves that was fractured or taken away in order to truly heal. A person who lost their childhood due to events that made them grow up at an early age eventually have to reclaim the kid part of themselves to more fully enjoy life later in life. Anyone who lost their sense of security, love or strength in some way are charged with the task of retrieving the aspects of themselves that prevent ease and comfort in days ahead. Those who have lost their identity while trying to survive the many challenges of the human condition are charged with taking back what reflects their true nature.
In reality, letting go is only the first step to healing; reclaiming who you were prior to feeling un-whole completes your evolutionary process.
When I first created the Soul Health Model, I referred to it as the “Whole Health Model”, emphasizing that we only feel aligned and radiant when our tree of life feels intact and balanced. In fact, when you consult Webster’s Dictionary, whole and health are used interchangeably. While you can’t really have a partial soul, it can become fractured, fragmented or wounded by the human condition, leaving us to feel far less than intact. Our tree can feel worn and bedraggled when the human condition has gotten the best of us and it takes effort and investment in the restoration of self to reintegrate the many aspects of our soul.
Soul health is about “cleaning out” what no longer fits—releasing and removing any life debris that misaligns you from your full self—so that you can “fill up” or reclaim that which will make you feel radiant and full of life once more.
How do you reclaim your soul?
- Identify what feels broken. Ask, “What happened to fracture or fragment you?” and “What or who broke or diminished who you really are?”
- How did you manage this wound? Did you compensate by focusing on something else? Did you pretend that nothing was missing? What did you do instead of displaying your true self?
- What would it take to reclaim and befriend your inner ally? Is anything in your way? Do you have fear that must be faced to make yourself whole again?
- Who can support you on your soul health journey? Is there anyone who will get in your way?
Reclaiming your soul is the most important task you will ever complete on your journey through the human condition. It is what guarantees you of living a heavenly and blissful life.
(Note: While the questions above may assist in identifying the parts of you that need to be reclaimed to feel whole again, it may be difficult to do this work alone. Consider finding a professional who can help along the way.)